the chronicles of sarnia

A few weeks ago my wife and I were cat-sitting for some good friends of ours.  We made ourselves at home by doing some laundry and watching the 2nd most depressing movie known to man (the 1st being Amistad, recounting the Atlantic Slave Trade).  “The Pursuit of Happyness” starring Will Smith, portrays the true story of Chris Gardner, a homeless, single dad participating in a competitive 6 month unpaid internship. 

As a child, Chris Gardner was brilliant.  He wondered what he would become.  He mastered the rubiks cube, a puzzle with its own nerdy subculture.  Gardner traveled all over San Fransisco as a salesman of a costly device with no demand.  He invested his entire life savings into purchasing a fleet of bone-density scanners, which didn’t even sell on a good day. 

Gardner’s story resonated with me.  Not too long ago I worked at a printshop for 9 months, a call center for 6 months and served part-time as worship pastor at Hope Church in Apple Valley, MN for 18 months.  Kristi and I cherish our time spent at Hope Church.  In each setting we made deep connections with people.  Friends that we maintain to this day.  But there was a rub.  God called me to be a pastor.  God has wired every single person uniquely.  No one is a generic copy.  I was convinced that He wanted me in full-time ministry.  I loved some of the conversations that I had with co-workers.  We hardly ever agreed.  But we genuinely appreciated each other.  Even though he used me to sow seeds in people’s lives, I wasn’t living up to my potential.   

I was exhausted on all levels.  I understood what Gardner felt as a man who couldn’t provide for his family.  I’m sure most young families know what it’s like to live pay check to pay check.  I am grateful that God allowed me to learn and grow through that season but there were some pretty desperate times.  Soon, my wife, Kristi could expect a call every Monday at 10:15am.  I was on my first break, depressed from the daily grind and feeling like there was some kind of glass ceiling I couldn’t break through.  I came to understand what it meant to detest my job.  I felt defeated as a human being every time I walked into that 24 story building.  I was a peon.  A number.

Then something snapped (figuratively speaking).  I quit throwing myself a pity party.  During my breaks I went on prayer walks twice a day.  I prayed for yieldedness, strength and compassion.  Whether that meant working in the secular world for the rest of my life or if he wanted me in full-time ministry, I needed Him to sustain me.  During my time at Hope Church, I wrestled with my loyalty to them.  I never shopped my resume.  Early last summer a guest musician noted my situation and emailed me with a list of 3 churches he knew needed a full-time worship pastor.  After prayerfully considering each of these churches, I sent my resume only to one–Pleasant Valley Church in Winona, MN.  Eventually, I was asked to candidate and a short time later was offered the position.    

At the conclusion of Chris Gardner’s internship, he was summoned into the conference room with 3 of his supervisors.  Only 1 out of the 20 interns would be hired.  Chris was faithful.  Chris was diligent.  Chris was a broken man.  This was his only shot.  He emerged from the room as one who had persevered through adversity.  He landed his dream job as a stock broker.  He and his son Christopher could have 3 meals a day and a roof over their heads.  Gardner went on to become a successful business man and start multiple charitable funds.  Its more than a rags to riches story.  Its a story with two characters: adversity and perseverance. 

When I was offered the job at Pleasant Valley Church, I felt like Chris Gardner.  I would be able to provide for my family.  I would be serving in the role God called me to as a young boy.  I landed my dream job.  Nearly three months have gone by since I started at PV.  I remember the adversity.  I remember the hopelessness.  I remember God’s faithfulness and provision.  I remember His quiet strength that sustained me.  I am grateful to be serving at Pleasant Valley Church as Pastor of Worship Arts.  I’m humbled to do so.  I’m grateful for my wife who believed in me enough to move our family to Winona while she commutes 3 hours twice a week to finish her 4 year RN.  I’m grateful to my daughter for being the light of my life–the apple of my eye.  Most of all I’m thankful for the road that led us to Winona.  It has made me stronger.  It has made me who I am today.